Zenith Men’s 96.0529.4035/51.M Defy Xtreme Tourbillon Titanium Chronograph Watch

5.0 out of 5 stars Saves $58,000, what a deal!
By Zee Hamid on December 4, 2010

I wasn’t going to buy this watch, but then I noticed Amazon had it with $58,000 off! What a deal. With the money I saved I purchased a brand new BMW and still had money left over for a Disney vacation. How many watches save you money to buy a car and a vacation?

Now whenever I see someone with money troubles I tell them to buy this watch and save $58,000. I am considering buying 10 of these watches so I can save $580,000 and buy a house on cash. Retirement saving is also no longer a concern for me, as I plan to buy one every year and live off the $58,000 I save.

5.0 out of 5 stars My experience with this watch.
By William Workman on February 26, 2014

I remember the day I received this watch.

The moment I clicked the “Confirm Purchase” button, a celestial light bled through the cloudy skies and swept through my duplex. I heard heaven’s voice. My ragged bathrobe and spaghetti sauce laden wife-beater undershirt instantly metamorphosed into an elegant, untouched, and fully tailored tuxedo: a gold-lined cummerbund, 42-carat diamond cufflinks, and a coat that was laced from the pubic ass-hairs of Zeus himself, still odored from the blood of his enemies. My Ikea chair began evolving into a throne – carved by Jesus himself and lumbered from the woods of Narnia – as my hair turned into platinum locks, so lustrous, elegant, and untamed that a jealous and envious Samson would have chosen me over Delilah. I felt like a deity. But it did not end there.

My doorbell rang; I noticed the sound had changed from the hackneyed, generic tritone noise into a cathedral choir of a thousand virgin women singing in harmony to announce the arrival of my watch. I quivered in fear of the presence of such a thing. But alas, I marched onward as each of my steps left a silver-lined footprint on my now diamond-tiled floor. My hands shook and my palms ached as I felt the sweat drip down my nose and onto the floor only to see the perspiration alchemize into liquid gold on my floor. I opened the door and there it was:

The delivery man was fully nude, modeling in a contrapposto fashion – he was engulfed with a halo of warmth and handed me the package. His voice was near orgasmic as I listened to him say: “Sign here, please”. I shuddered in awe as I took the emerald pen and signed my signature with ink from the blood of a unicorn. He vanished in a slow cloud of menthol with a hint of nectar vapor.

I took the package to my now 50-foot dining table and examined it.

The box had a superficial wrapping made from what I could only guess to be the golden fleece, procured from the winged ram of Ancient Greece. I untied the silk bows and unraveled the package and opened the box to discover the watch. The experience was ineffable.

When I laid eyes on the watch, I instantly saw into the eleven theorized dimensions of spacetime. I saw past, future, present, and everything in between. I knew the reasons for everything and knew the reasons to come. String theory was simple arithmetic to me and all the mysteries of life and existence embodied the slow, ticking hands of the watch. I strapped on the watch to my left hand and instantly became ambidextrous. It seared into my skin and it was then that I felt the rush of purity. My diabetes, hepatitis, and hypertension washed away from me. Cancer cells were eradicated from my anatomy and the concept of aging was a thing of the past. My saliva tasted of sweet syrup and nectar. I bled liquid fire. I had obtained immortality.

I must end my review here for I have seen the deterministic events that will entail with the divulging of any further information.

5/5. Would purchase again.